Hi! My name is Dr. Amy Wiseman, a.k.a. Dr. Ducky. I’m a licensed clinical psychologist in the state of California, and I have been in private practice since 2018.
Doctor Ducky Psychotherapy includes myself and a small select group of therapists. The overarching clinical issue I work with is trauma, by which I mean toxic stress and its effects. Trauma can be a single threatening event but more often it is a lot of small experiences that create a stress response over time, which molds the way the nervous system responds to the world. This can result in a bunch of different diagnoses, but they all come back to one thing: Trauma.
My practice works with all kinds of people, but one group I love to help is a speciality population that I refer to as the Queer-Kinky-PolyA people. Queer is a term that I use interchangeably with people who identify as LGBTQIAA+. Kinky means people who are in the kink scene and engage in non-normative sexual dynamics (or are maybe interested in doing so). PolyA refers to those who are interested in some form of ethical non-monogamy. Providing informed and non-judgmental therapy for such folks is a big part of my life’s work.
Here’s why I’m writing this series of posts: Since people know I’m a psychologist, I am regularly waylaid at parties and family events by people who want to start doing therapy or who are doing therapy and it’s not going well. I don’t mind engaging most of the time (unless I was headed to the snack table!), but what I find frustrating is that they all seem to ask versions of the same few questions:
–“How do I even go about finding a therapist?”,
–“I had a weird moment where my therapist said X and now I don’t know what to do?”
–“My therapist keeps wanting to talk about my mom but that does not feel important to me – how can I make them understand that?”
–“My therapist keeps wanting me to do this skill that I don’t think is helping and I feel like I’m failing – should I just quit?”
I’m not frustrated with the people who are being repetitive; I’m frustrated with the system that has failed to inform them and failed to explain the essence of what psychotherapy is and how it works.
I actually empathize with the people who ask me these questions, because I also have a long history as a consumer of psychotherapy, so I understand how frustrating it can be! I’ve been in individual therapy with many different practitioners over the years, and I’ve done couples therapy with my husband several times.
Thus, I know exactly how frustrating it can be to call so many therapists and not even get a callback. I know how it feels to have a therapist guide a session away from your interests and goals, and towards their own. And I even know how it feels to have a therapist say something to you that’s hurtful and thoughtless, but feel unable to say anything because of the power differential inherent in the relationship. Finding a good therapist and getting the most out of the relationship is not an easy task, even for a therapist!
In this series, I will answer those questions and more, to give you a good idea of how you can find the right therapist for you, set boundaries so it can be the therapy you want, and deal with the common obstacles and pitfalls along the way. I will also explain in depth the single most important aspect of finding a therapist that can work for you. (Spoiler: It’s the relationship!) Read on, and let’s Do Good Therapy!
NOTE: I want to be upfront about the fact that one of the reasons I am writing this guide is to connect with and attract potential patients. If my description of my practice and my methods resonates with you, you can reach out to schedule an initial appointment here.
Doctor Ducky Psychotherapy 