Doctor Ducky Psychotherapy

After reading the first two parts of this blog series, I hope you believe that therapy is for and about you, and that you have the innate ability to change and grow but you just need some guidance. If you’ve gotten there, then the first, obvious question is: How do I even start?!?!  

My first advice to anyone looking for a therapist is: Shop Around!

Therapy is not “one size fits all”. It’s not a commodity like butter or milk, where you go to the store, buy what they have, and figure it’ll do the job. Different therapists do work that is very different from each other, using different modalities and each influenced by their specific personality and experience.

We will get into more detail on some specific modalities in later posts, but even armed with that information, don’t be surprised if you have to try out several different therapists before you find one who really gets you and feels like the right fit.

The first practical step to take is to go to the website for Psychology Today, where almost every working therapist in the country has a profile, and use their search function to generate a list of potential therapists in your area (or who offer teletherapy services).

Start by entering your zip code for the therapists in your area. Or, if you click to the “online therapy” tab, then enter your state for a list of all licensed therapists who are authorized to treat you virtually. Once you have that list, then in the upper right corner of the screen there should be a “FILTERS” button. Click that, and you’re in.

Once there, you can filter the therapists for the specific issues they treat. (e.g. depression or anxiety), different modalities (“I really want to try that EMDR thing!”), gender of therapist, and even insurance the therapist will take. Hopefully, by doing this, you can get a much more manageable and targeted list than the giant one that will pop up in almost any area of the country when searching just by raw location.

Once you have utilized the filter tool and you feel like there are a group of therapists that match your search criteria – take a look at their profiles.  This is a part where you really want to listen to your feelings and see if there is anything that stands out to you about any therapists. It is of utmost importance that you feel comfortable with your therapist, so don’t make yourself reach out to someone that you want to rule out for a reason that may seem silly. 

– Do you not like the way they wrote their profile?  

– Do you think the picture they decided to use is really weird? 

– Did you notice they misspelled something….repeatedly?

– Do you only want to work with someone close to your age?  

If you feel any kind of ick regarding a therapist’s profile, then give yourself permission to just skip them and move on to the next possibility!

Conversely, it helps to pay attention to profiles that make you feel hopeful, excited, or like you would just like the therapist as a person.  It’s a really positive sign to have thoughts like:

– This person could really understand what I am dealing with, 

– This person seems to know what they are doing, 

– I think I could open up to this person. 

– I feel safe when I read what they wrote.

– I feel so seen by this person and I haven’t even met them yet!  

These are important messages to you from your insight and your feelings that this is a therapist with whom you could build a good relationship.

Does the shopping around stop there? Should I just go with the one whose profile I liked the most?  Probably not! You should also plan on an interview stage. 

When you are browsing the profiles, get 5-10 profiles together that you feel comfortable with. This number is high because some therapists may not get back to you (I know, gross). This can happen because their practice is already full or from simple disorganization, but whatever the reason, it pays to be prepared for it while searching

I alway tell my friends and family to make sure they ask therapists if they offer a free consultation. You will see on my website that I offer a free 30 minute consultation because I do not want someone to pay to just see if I am a good fit for them. If a therapist does not offer a free consultation, then you may decide to remove them from your list. But, if you feel really excited about them, it might be worth paying for a session to interview them. Someone who doesn’t do free consults is not necessarily a scammer–the difference is just something to be aware of, and can be a factor in your decision.

You get to do what feels right, because, remember: Therapy is for and about YOU!

Before the interview, I encourage you to brainstorm some questions you can take into the consultation that feel important to you.  Here are some example questions that I have had myself or that clients of mine have had: 

– How high are your fees? 

– How often do you suggest we meet?  

– I work with a psychiatrist, how will you communicate with them?  

– What are your thoughts on X disorder that I think I might have?  

– What kinds of trainings do you have?  

– How will you handle if we disagree with each other?  

– What does your cancelation policy look like?  

During your initial meeting, in addition to answering your questions, a therapist should say how they work, how they do fees, and how they see the client/therapist relationship. Pay attention to whether that fits with how you see therapy, but also pay attention to how you feel with them and how you like them.

After you have interviewed the therapists from your list, I encourage you to think about that one factor above all else: Which therapist did I like the most?

I know that might sound like a strange first criteria when it comes to choosing a therapist. Dr. Ducky, shouldn’t I pick the therapist that knew the most or seemed the most accomplished?? Nope! The research is very clear that the best predictor of outcomes for therapy is the strength of the relationship between patient and therapist. That starts with you liking the person who you are probably going to share some deep and tough stuff with. If there was one therapist you liked the most–go with them!  If there were a couple you liked equally, ask if they would feel comfortable with you doing a couple of sessions with each of them, to see which one feels right to you after you get to know them better.

Therapy is for and about you so trust yourself when it comes to picking out someone who can give you the therapy you deserve!